Knowing me-knowing you: Reported personality and trait discrepancies as predictors of marital idealization between long-wed spouses.

In previous research, marital idealization has emerged as a significant predictor of adaptation to widowhood, the psychological well-being of spouses of persons with dementia, and the physical health of older married adults over time. Despite the adaptive value of marital idealization, conceptual confusion regarding this phenomenon persists. To this end, the present study examines the degree to which marital idealization is predicted by personality traits relative to partner perceptions of their spouse's personality, and discrepancies between self- vs. spousal reports for both husbands and wives. Multilevel models were computed on the basis of responses from 125 couples married an average of 34 years. Marital idealization by husbands was predicted by his personality (i.e., lower neuroticism, openness to experience, agreeableness, and higher conscientiousness). In contrast, marital idealization by wives was predicted by trait discrepancies (i.e., being seen, and seeing one's spouse, more positively than she or he sees him- or herself). Conscientiousness emerged as the trait for which between-sex differences were most pronounced, whereas both conscientiousness and agreeableness were the traits most broadly associated with marital idealization by both spouses (intracouple trait averages and discrepancies between spousal reports). These results are discussed in relation to gender socialization and between-sex differences.