Regulation of visiting rights against the will of the pubescent? The assessor as mediator?

A regulation of visiting rights after separation or divorce against the explicitly expressed wish of the children will always be problematic and mostly an enforced practised visiting of the parent without the rights of custody will be avoided. This the more so, if the children are already in pubescence or adolescence. If the parent without the rights of custody wants to get into contact with his adolescent children or maintain already existing contact, the dynamic of relationship in this phase of detachment from the family home as well as the dynamic of the process of finding individuality has to be kept in mind. The assessor should then not only describe the present situation of the relationships of the broken up family, but also try to sound out actively in how far during the process of finding individuality and separation movement into one or the other direction is possible and desirable. With the help of a case example this shall be shown and discussed.