Radosh Alice, Simkin Linda
Senior Program Officer, Academy for Educational Development (FHI 360), New York NY, USA.
President, Action Research Associates, Delmar NY, USA.
Reprod Health Matters. 2016 Nov;24(48):25-33. doi: 10.1016/j.rhm.2016.11.005. Epub 2016 Nov 30.
Despite increasing awareness of the importance of sexuality for older adults, research and popular literature rarely acknowledge what we term "sexual bereavement" - mourning the loss of sexual intimacy when predeceased. The reluctance to acknowledge sexual bereavement may create "disenfranchised grief" leaving the bereaved unsupported in coping with this aspect of mourning. This preliminary study focuses on women in the United States and sought to determine whether they anticipate missing sex if predeceased, whether they would want to talk about this loss, and identified factors associated with communicating about sexual bereavement. Findings from our survey of 104 women, 55 years and older, most of whom were heterosexual, revealed that a large majority (72%) anticipates missing sex with their partner and 67% would want to initiate a discussion about this. An even higher percentage would want friends to initiate the topic. Yet, 57% of participants report it would not occur to them to initiate a discussion with a widowed friend about the friend's loss. Disenfranchised grief can have negative emotional and physical consequences. This paper suggests a role for friends and professionals in addressing this neglected issue.
尽管人们越来越意识到性对老年人的重要性，但研究和通俗文献很少承认我们所说的“性丧亲之痛”——即在配偶先于自己去世时，为失去性亲密关系而哀伤。不愿承认性丧亲之痛可能会造成“被剥夺的悲伤”，使丧亲者在应对这方面的哀伤时得不到支持。这项初步研究聚焦于美国女性，旨在确定她们是否预计在配偶先于自己去世后会怀念性生活，她们是否想谈论这种失去，并找出与谈论性丧亲之痛相关的因素。我们对104名55岁及以上的女性进行了调查，其中大多数为异性恋，调查结果显示，绝大多数（72%）预计会怀念与伴侣的性生活，67%的人希望就此展开讨论。甚至有更高比例的人希望朋友开启这个话题。然而，57%的参与者表示，她们不会想到与丧偶的朋友谈论朋友的这种损失。被剥夺的悲伤可能会产生负面的情绪和身体后果。本文提出了朋友和专业人士在解决这个被忽视的问题中可以发挥的作用。
