[Shame and guilt due to a complaint].

A complaint is not only an attack on our professional expertise, but also on our personal identity. It is difficult for the healthcare professional to retain the duty of care, whereas the patient is free to file a complaint. This can lead to an overly defensive position. Usually a complaint leads to feelings of guilt and shame. Shame about who you are when you are complaint-worthy and guilt because you are accused of having done wrong. A healthy way of dealing with a complaint is to take it seriously, but to experience the additional shame and guilt and view angry feelings towards the patient as bypassing emotions. This is hardly possible for healthcare professionals with an overvalued, inflated self-esteem or with a chronically low self-esteem. The way in which we deal with a complaint is of course strongly linked with our personality: do we punish ourselves for (alleged) mistakes, do we deny the circumstances, or do we appropriate them?