Mattison A M, McWhirter D P
School of Medicine, University of California at San Diego.
J Homosex. 1987;14(1-2):89-99. doi: 10.1300/J082v14n01_08.
Any characteristic in the developmental stages of relationships has the potential for being at the core of a stage discrepancy problem. A few of the more frequently seen stage discrepancies are (a) reappearance of the individual in Stage Three in conflict with the merging of Stage One, (b) reappearance of the individual in Stage Three threatening the dependability of the partner in Stage Four, and (c) the high limerence of Stage One in sharp contrast with the loss of limerence in Stage Two. As a side issue, and as has been stated elsewhere, one of the most common causes for terminating male relationships toward the end of the first year is the loss of limerence. Examples of characteristics in conflict are as numerous as the characteristics in male couples. In some instances, characteristics of later stages appear earlier as symptoms of insecurity, dependency, or difficulty in managing the aging process. Stage discrepancies often appear as behavioral manifestations, or as symptoms of the difficulties that the couple or individual is having in resolving the stage discrepancy problem. However, the conflicts are often presented to the psychotherapy as problems of: (a) developing or maintaining intimacy; (b) power, competition, or control issues; (c) jealousy; or (d) differences in dealing with expressions of anger or tenderness. Utilizing the framework of stages of relationships and the possibility of discrepancy in the developmental characteristics can give the psychotherapist added understanding of the presenting complaints of male couples, which in turn can lead to a better assessment of the couples' difficulties and the development of new strategies of treatment intervention.
人际关系发展阶段中的任何特征都有可能成为阶段差异问题的核心。一些较为常见的阶段差异包括：（a）处于第三阶段的个体重新出现，与第一阶段的融合产生冲突；（b）处于第三阶段的个体重新出现，威胁到处于第四阶段的伴侣的可靠性；（c）第一阶段的强烈迷恋与第二阶段迷恋的丧失形成鲜明对比。顺便说一下，正如在其他地方所指出的，男性在第一年年底终止恋爱关系的最常见原因之一是迷恋的丧失。冲突中的特征例子与男性伴侣关系中的特征一样多。在某些情况下，后期阶段的特征会更早地以不安全感、依赖感或应对衰老过程困难的症状出现。阶段差异通常表现为行为表现，或者是夫妻或个人在解决阶段差异问题时所遇到困难的症状。然而，这些冲突在心理治疗中常常表现为以下问题：（a）发展或维持亲密关系；（b）权力、竞争或控制问题；（c）嫉妒；或（d）在处理愤怒或温柔表达方面的差异。利用人际关系阶段框架以及发展特征中存在差异的可能性，心理治疗师可以对男性伴侣提出的主诉有更多理解，进而更好地评估夫妻的困难，并制定新的治疗干预策略。
