Psychology Department, San Francisco State University, San Francisco, CA, 94132, USA.
Arch Sex Behav. 2024 Apr;53(4):1415-1429. doi: 10.1007/s10508-024-02823-7. Epub 2024 Mar 4.
Existing research suggests a number of both costs and benefits to oneself that can occur as a result of partners' other relationships in consensual nonmonogamy (CNM), but such costs and benefits have not previously been systematically cataloged. Using reflexive thematic analysis, we present themes derived from semi-structured interviews with 51 individuals (63% white, 55% nonbinary/genderqueer/non-cisgendered, and 77% LGBQ) who have practiced CNM, describing the costs and benefits to themselves that they perceive as a result of their partners' other relationships. Themes describing costs include experiencing difficult feelings (e.g., jealousy), having less with a partner (e.g., less of a partner's time) than one would like, difficulties or conflict within one's own relationship, and difficulties or conflict as a result of interactions between metamours (individuals who share a partner). Themes describing benefits include experiencing positive feelings (e.g., compersion), benefiting from a partner getting needs met in other relationships, strengthening of or pleasurable interactions within one's own relationship, enjoyable or beneficial relationships or interactions between metamours, and personal growth as a result of sharing partners with others. We note that these costs and benefits roughly mirror each other, suggesting that they may reflect the positive and negative sides of some fundamental aspects of CNM. Each of our themes also contains a rich range of elements that suggest avenues for future research. Our results suggest that CNM relationships are complex and multi-faceted, and that further research could fruitfully examine the circumstances that influence whether individuals experience their partners' other relationships positively or negatively.
现有研究表明,在双方自愿的非单一伴侣关系(CNM)中,伴侣的其他关系可能会给双方带来一些成本和益处,但这些成本和益处以前并未被系统地分类。我们使用反思性主题分析,从对 51 名(63%为白人,55%为非二元性别/酷儿/非顺性别,77%为 LGBQ)实践过 CNM 的人的半结构化访谈中得出主题,描述他们认为由于伴侣的其他关系而对自己产生的成本和益处。描述成本的主题包括体验到困难的感觉(例如,嫉妒)、与伴侣相处的时间比自己希望的要少(例如,伴侣的时间较少)、自己的关系中出现困难或冲突、以及由于伴侣之间的互动(即分享同一个伴侣的人)而产生的困难或冲突。描述益处的主题包括体验到积极的感觉(例如,共情)、从伴侣在其他关系中得到满足中受益、加强或享受自己关系中的互动、愉快的伴侣关系或互动,以及由于与他人分享伴侣而带来的个人成长。我们注意到,这些成本和益处大致相互对应,这表明它们可能反映了 CNM 的一些基本方面的积极和消极方面。我们的每个主题都包含丰富的元素,为进一步研究提供了方向。我们的研究结果表明,CNM 关系是复杂的、多方面的,进一步的研究可以深入探讨影响个人对伴侣的其他关系持积极或消极态度的情况。