"You think lots of love will heal the child, but it requires a lifetime of patience". Foster parents' intrapersonal and interpersonal struggles.

BACKGROUND

Foster parents can be placed under significant demands when caring for foster children with extensive needs. Coming to terms with the challenges they have to face can be a daunting prospect. To examine foster parents' experiences is vital with a view to enhancing their resilience amid sustained demands and improving the professional support offered to them.

OBJECTIVE

This study explores foster parents' lived experience of caring for foster children with mental illness and attachment difficulties.

PARTICIPANTS AND SETTINGS

Twenty-two foster parents, caring for foster children aged 2-17, were recruited from a mental health clinic providing assessment and treatment to children.

METHODS

In this qualitative study, in-depth interviews were conducted and analyzed using a descriptive phenomenological psychological approach.

RESULTS

Our analysis revealed four interrelated constituents describing the foster parents' experiences: 1) Wanting to help a child, 2) Adjustments were harder than expected, 3) Sacrifices and suppression of needs, and 4) Commitment and love mixed with ambivalence.

CONCLUSION

The findings highlight that being a foster parent for children with mental illness and attachment difficulties demands heightened patience, knowledge and understanding. It also involves a substantial emotional investment. This underscores the importance of addressing feelings of love, shame, and guilt in this context. Balancing the needs of the foster child with the well-being of the foster family can be challenging. Foster parents may need extensive support from professionals who are familiar with their unique circumstances to increase their feeling of self-efficacy and reduce ambivalent feelings regarding their role as caregivers.