Scheinkman Michele, Werneck Denise
220 Madison Ave., New York, NY 10016, USA.
Fam Process. 2010 Dec;49(4):486-502. doi: 10.1111/j.1545-5300.2010.01335.x.
Jealousy is a powerful emotional force in couples' relationships. In just seconds it can turn love into rage and tenderness into acts of control, intimidation, and even suicide or murder. Yet it has been surprisingly neglected in the couples therapy field. In this paper we define jealousy broadly as a hub of contradictory feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions, and consider how it can range from a normative predicament to extreme obsessive manifestations. We ground jealousy in couples' basic relational tasks and utilize the construct of the vulnerability cycle to describe processes of derailment. We offer guidelines on how to contain the couple's escalation, disarm their ineffective strategies and power struggles, identify underlying vulnerabilities and yearnings, and distinguish meanings that belong to the present from those that belong to the past, or to other contexts. The goal is to facilitate relational and personal changes that can yield a better fit between the partners' expectations.
嫉妒是夫妻关系中一种强大的情感力量。在短短几秒钟内，它就能将爱转化为愤怒，将温柔转化为控制、恐吓行为，甚至自杀或谋杀行为。然而，它在夫妻治疗领域却出人意料地被忽视了。在本文中，我们将嫉妒广义地定义为一个由矛盾情感、思想、信念、行为和反应构成的核心，并探讨它如何从一种正常的困境演变为极端的强迫表现。我们将嫉妒置于夫妻的基本关系任务之中，并利用脆弱循环的概念来描述关系偏离的过程。我们提供了一些指导方针，说明如何控制夫妻间的冲突升级，化解他们无效的策略和权力斗争，识别潜在的脆弱性和渴望，以及区分属于当下的意义与属于过去或其他情境的意义。目标是促进关系和个人的改变，以使伴侣之间的期望更加契合。
