University of Toronto
Yale University.
Psychol Sci. 2014 Dec;25(12):2233-40. doi: 10.1177/0956797614552828. Epub 2014 Oct 24.
Mate preferences often fail to correspond with actual mate choices. We present a novel explanation for this phenomenon: People overestimate their willingness to reject unsuitable romantic partners. In two studies, single people were given the opportunity to accept or decline advances from potential dates who were physically unattractive (Study 1) or incompatible with their dating preferences (Study 2). We found that participants were significantly less willing to reject these unsuitable potential dates when they believed the situation to be real rather than hypothetical. This effect was partially explained by other-focused motives: Participants for whom the scenario was hypothetical anticipated less motivation to avoid hurting the potential date's feelings than participants actually felt when they believed the situation to be real. Thus, other-focused motives appear to exert an influence on mate choice that has been overlooked by researchers and laypeople alike.
伴侣偏好往往与实际伴侣选择不相符。我们为这一现象提出了一个新的解释：人们高估了自己拒绝不合适的浪漫伴侣的意愿。在两项研究中，单身人士有机会接受或拒绝那些外表不吸引人（研究 1）或与他们的约会偏好不匹配的潜在约会对象（研究 2）的求爱。我们发现，当参与者认为情况是真实的而不是假设的时，他们明显不太愿意拒绝这些不合适的潜在约会对象。这种效应部分可以用关注他人的动机来解释：与假设情况相比，参与者认为情况是真实的时，预计避免伤害潜在约会对象感情的动机要小得多。因此，关注他人的动机似乎对择偶选择产生了一种影响，而这种影响一直被研究人员和外行人所忽视。
