Robinson L H
Tulane University of Medicine Dept. of Psychiatry and Neurology, New Orleans, La 70112.
J Am Acad Psychoanal. 1989 Fall;17(3):483-91. doi: 10.1521/jaap.1.1989.17.3.483.
Grandparenthood can have multiple meanings for grandparents just as grandchildhood can have diverse meanings for grandchildren. Ideally the joys of being a grandparent help to compensate for life's sorrows, although premature grandparenthood may be experienced instead as a nuisance or even a burden if grandparents have to assume parental responsibilities. Of course, storybook grandparents including the grandfathers of Heidi, Little Lord Fauntleroy, and the Box Car Children, never seem to resent having to act as surrogate parents. They enjoy it and do a superb job of meeting their grandchildren's needs. The popularity of these stories is probably due to the vicarious pleasure they provide for children who are angry at their parents and fantasizing about more gratifying caretakers--their grandparents. Grandparents who have a good relationship with their adult children and the children's spouses are more likely to develop a gratifying relationship with their grandchildren, though occasionally grandparents and grandchildren unite against the generation in between. Children utilize grandparents as objects for identification, as links to their history and as a source of pleasure and comfort. When idealization is given up in adolescence, the grandparent-grandchild relationship often continues to be mutually accepting and relatively free of conflict. Grandparents are provided a third opportunity to resolve developmental crises as they observe and try to help grandchildren struggling with the same crisis.
为人祖父母对祖父母来说可能有多种意义，就如同孙辈的童年对孙辈们也有不同的意义一样。理想情况下，成为祖父母的喜悦有助于弥补生活中的悲伤，不过，如果祖父母不得不承担起父母的责任，过早成为祖父母可能会被视为一种麻烦甚至负担。当然，像《海蒂》中的祖父、《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》中的祖父以及《棚车少年》中的祖父这类堪称典范的祖父母，似乎从不怨恨自己不得不充当代理父母的角色。他们乐在其中，并且在满足孙辈需求方面做得非常出色。这些故事广受欢迎，可能是因为它们为那些对父母心怀不满、幻想有更贴心照料者——自己祖父母的孩子们带来了间接的乐趣。与成年子女及其配偶关系良好的祖父母，更有可能与孙辈建立起令人满意的关系，不过偶尔也会出现祖父母和孙辈联合起来对抗中间这一代人的情况。孩子们把祖父母当作认同的对象、与自己家族历史的纽带以及快乐和慰藉的来源。当青春期放弃理想化之后，祖孙关系往往仍能相互接纳，且相对没有冲突。祖父母在观察并试图帮助孙辈应对同样的危机时，获得了第三次解决发展危机的机会。
