Your diagnosis will not protect you (and neither will academia): Reckoning with education and Dis-Ease.

This article is an autoethnographic exploration of institutionalized responses to uncontrolled substance use informed by medical paradigms. Theoretically, it is situated within a lineage of work in critical drug and Mad studies that challenge assumptions about choice, including - and especially - by interrogating the extent to which choice is an apt conceptual tool for making sense of "addiction." Throughout, I focus on two discrete but analogous events, both of which entailed binging on substances, entering altered states, and being rejected from academic spaces through a lens of biomedicine. My objective in doing so is two-fold: First, I hope to incite what I feel is a long overdue conversation between Mad and critical drug studies in service of theoretical cross-pollination. Second, I wish to outline how codifying people as Mad and addicted can amount to a "cutting out" (Smith, 1978) of relevant extraneous factors that motivate one's deviant actions, including within education institutions whose members research these same identities. I conclude by discussing the implications of this "cutting out" for my and possibly others' academic trajectories.