Helton L
English Education, Teachers College, Columbia University, New York, New York, USA.
J Lesbian Stud. 2022;26(2):148-158. doi: 10.1080/10894160.2021.1976058. Epub 2021 Dec 13.
In this autobiographical essay, I study the ways in which becoming a classroom teacher illuminated the school-based gender socialization that had shaped my contested understanding of myself as a girl and woman. Leaning on the work of queer theorists both within and outside of fields explicitly marked as "pedagogical," I examine the notion of the "hidden curriculum" of gender as made manifest in my first years teaching middle school English, and the transformative capacity within my students-and the learning spaces I shared with them-to deconstruct, play with, and disrupt, if not unlearn, the gender "scripts" that had bound us to the failing coda of identification linked to larger systems of oppression which the institution of school reifies. Tracing my developing self-identification as a lesbian alongside my years of feeling "just outside" of the archetype of the professional woman teacher, I explore the possibilities for the secondary classroom to playfully and rigorously trouble normative modes of categorization and identification, broadening our understanding of who school "works" for.
在这篇自传体文章中，我探讨了成为一名课堂教师如何揭示了以学校为基础的性别社会化现象，这种现象塑造了我对自己作为女孩和女性的矛盾认知。借助明确标记为“教学法”领域内外的酷儿理论家的著作，我审视了性别“隐性课程”的概念，它在我初教中学英语的头几年中得以显现，以及我的学生们——以及我与他们共享的学习空间——所具有的变革能力，即解构、玩味并打破（如果不是摒弃的话）那些将我们束缚在与更大压迫系统相关联的失败身份认同结局中的性别“脚本”，而学校机构强化了这种压迫系统。追溯我作为女同性恋者逐渐形成的自我认同，以及多年来我感觉自己“游离于”职业女性教师原型之外的经历，我探索了中学课堂以有趣且严谨的方式挑战规范分类和认同模式的可能性，拓宽了我们对学校“为谁服务”的理解。
