Ventegodt Søren, Andersen Niels Jørgen, Merrick Joav
The quality of Life Research Center, Copenhagen, Denmark.
ScientificWorldJournal. 2003 Dec 1;3:1210-29. doi: 10.1100/tsw.2003.105.
This paper presents a positive philosophy of life developed to support and inspire patients to take more responsibility for their own lives and to draw more efficiently on their known or hidden resources. The idea is that everybody can become wiser, use themselves better, and thus improve quality of life, subjective health, and the ability to function. To be responsible means to see yourself as the cause of your own existence and state of being. To be the one who forms your own life to your liking, so that others do not shape it in the way they prefer to see you. Seen this way, taking responsibility in practice is one of the most difficult things to do. One of the greatest and most difficult things to do in this context is to be able to love. To be the one who loves, instead of being the one who demands love, care, awareness, respect, and acceptance from somebody else. Since almost all of us have had parents who maybe loved us too little and mostly conditionally, we all harbor a deep yearning to be loved as we are, unconditionally. A lot of our energy is spent trying to find recognition and acceptance, more or less as we did as children from our parents, who created the framework and defined the rules of the game. But today, reality is different. We have grown up and now life is about shaping our own existence. So we must be the ones who love. This is what responsibility is all about. Taking responsibility is, quite literally, moving the barriers in our lives inside ourselves. Taking responsibility for life means that you are willing to see that the real barriers are not all these external ones, but something that can be found within yourself. Of course there is an outside world that cannot be easily shaped according to your dreams. But a responsible point of view is that although it is difficult, the problem is not impossible; it is your real challenge and task. If there is something you really want, you can achieve it, but whether it happens depends on your wholehearted, goal-oriented, and continuous attempts. This paper describes the philosophy about seizing the meaning of life and becoming well again, even when there is little time left.
本文提出了一种积极的生活哲学,旨在支持和激励患者为自己的生活承担更多责任,并更有效地利用他们已知的或隐藏的资源。其理念是,每个人都可以变得更明智,更好地利用自己,从而提高生活质量、主观健康水平和生活能力。负责任意味着将自己视为自身存在和状态的原因。成为那个按照自己的喜好塑造自己生活的人,这样别人就不会按照他们希望看到你的方式来塑造你。从这个角度看,在实践中承担责任是最难做到的事情之一。在这种情况下,最伟大且最困难的事情之一就是能够去爱。成为那个付出爱的人,而不是那个从别人那里索取爱、关心、关注、尊重和接纳的人。由于几乎我们所有人都曾有过可能给予我们很少爱且大多是有条件爱的父母,我们都怀有深深的渴望,希望被无条件地爱,爱真实的自己。我们花费大量精力试图获得认可和接纳,或多或少就像小时候从父母那里寻求认可一样,父母设定了游戏框架并制定了规则。但如今,现实不同了。我们已经长大,现在生活是关于塑造我们自己的存在。所以我们必须成为那个付出爱的人。这就是责任的全部意义。承担责任,从字面上讲,就是将我们生活中的障碍移到自己内心。对生活负责意味着你愿意看到真正的障碍并非所有那些外部的东西,而是可以在自己内心找到的东西。当然,外部世界不容易按照你的梦想塑造。但负责任的观点是,尽管困难,但问题并非无法解决;这是你真正的挑战和任务。如果你真的想要某样东西,你可以实现它,但它是否会发生取决于你全心全意、目标明确且持续不断的努力。本文描述了一种关于抓住生命意义并重新恢复健康的哲学,即使所剩时间不多。