Department of Psychology, Austin Peay Building - Room 311B, University of Tennessee, Knoxville, TN 37996, USA.
J Pers Soc Psychol. 2011 May;100(5):853-73. doi: 10.1037/a0021884.
Should intimates respond to their interpersonal mistakes with self-criticism or with self-compassion? Although it is reasonable to expect self-compassion to benefit relationships by promoting self-esteem, it is also reasonable to expect self-compassion to hurt relationships by removing intimates' motivation to correct their interpersonal mistakes. Two correlational studies, 1 experiment, and 1 longitudinal study demonstrated that whether self-compassion helps or hurts relationships depends on the presence versus absence of dispositional sources of the motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes. Among men, the implications of self-compassion were moderated by conscientiousness. Among men high in conscientiousness, self-compassion was associated with greater motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes (Studies 1 and 3), observations of more constructive problem-solving behaviors (Study 2), reports of more accommodation (Study 3), and fewer declines in marital satisfaction that were mediated by decreases in interpersonal problem severity (Study 4); among men low in conscientiousness, self-compassion was associated with these outcomes in the opposite direction. Among women, in contrast, likely because women are inherently more motivated than men to preserve their relationships for cultural and/or biological reasons, self-compassion was never harmful to the relationship. Instead, women's self-compassion was positively associated with the motivation to correct their interpersonal mistakes (Study 1) and changes in relationship satisfaction (Study 4), regardless of conscientiousness. Accordingly, theoretical descriptions of the implications of self-promoting thoughts for relationships may be most complete to the extent that they consider the presence versus absence of other sources of the motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes.
亲密的人应该用自我批评还是自我同情来回应他们的人际错误？虽然可以合理地期望自我同情通过促进自尊来有益于关系，但也可以合理地期望自我同情通过消除亲密关系纠正人际错误的动机来伤害关系。两项相关性研究、一项实验和一项纵向研究表明，自我同情是有助于还是伤害关系取决于纠正人际错误的动机的潜在来源的存在与否。在男性中，自我同情的影响受到尽责性的调节。在尽责性高的男性中，自我同情与更大的动机纠正人际错误（研究 1 和研究 3）、更多建设性的解决问题行为的观察（研究 2）、更多的适应（研究 3）相关，而婚姻满意度的下降则通过人际问题严重程度的降低来介导（研究 4）；在尽责性低的男性中，自我同情与这些结果呈相反方向。相比之下，在女性中，可能是因为出于文化和/或生物学原因，女性天生比男性更有动力维持她们的关系，自我同情对关系从来没有伤害。相反，女性的自我同情与纠正人际错误的动机（研究 1）和关系满意度的变化（研究 4）呈正相关，而与尽责性无关。因此，自我提升思想对关系的影响的理论描述可能在考虑纠正人际错误的动机的其他来源的存在与否的情况下最完整。
