Destructive love is an active process of destroying the affection and tenderness between two people. 2. If people are unable to distinguish the difference between an argument that was formulated to clear up a misunderstanding from an argument that is destructive, they will be unable to function properly. 3. Five basic therapeutic elements needed for recovery are: a willingness to seek help; a move toward a more realistic form of thinking; spirituality in one's personal and professional life; a circle of friends who support emotional honesty; and a personal appreciation of one's own values instead of the values of a past partner.