Levine S B
Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, Beachwood, OH, USA.
J Sex Marital Ther. 1995 Fall;21(3):183-91. doi: 10.1080/00926239508404397.
This paper aims to stimulate awareness of the relationship between adult heterosexual love and sexual health. Although rarely discussed in professional circles, adult love is a powerful ideal that strongly influences both individual and relationship psychology. A gap between one's personal ideal of love and the actual experience of it inevitably appears within a long-term relationship. The feelings and behavior that stems from the gap become a crucial management issue for each individual in a relationship. The gap is minimized by an array of defenses and competing life demands, which either enhance or destabilize individual and relationship well-being. Idealization, denial, and rationalization are necessary to preserve the internal sense of loving at all phases of the committed relationship. The limitations of various definitions of sexual health are reviewed. Sixteen suggestions for preserving sexual health in long-term relationships are offered. Most of these involve guidelines for overcoming narcissism. The limitations of modern therapists, even sex therapists, for forthrightly dealing with sexual problems in terms of love are highlighted.
本文旨在唤起人们对成年异性恋爱情与性健康之间关系的认识。尽管在专业领域很少被讨论，但成年爱情是一种强大的理想，对个体心理和人际关系心理都有强烈影响。在长期关系中，个人爱情理想与实际体验之间不可避免地会出现差距。源于这种差距的情感和行为成为关系中每个人的关键管理问题。一系列防御机制和相互竞争的生活需求会使这种差距最小化，这些需求既可能增强也可能破坏个体和关系的幸福感。在亲密关系的各个阶段，理想化、否认和合理化对于维持内心的爱的感觉是必要的。本文回顾了性健康各种定义的局限性。文中提供了16条在长期关系中保持性健康的建议。其中大部分涉及克服自恋的指导方针。文中强调了现代治疗师，甚至性治疗师在坦率地从爱情角度处理性问题方面的局限性。
