The Experiences and Meanings That Shape Heterosexual Fathers' Relationships With Their Gay Sons in South Africa.

Gay men's relationships with their mothers are likely to be more positive than their relationships with their fathers, and fathers are less likely to be told, less likely to be told first, and more likely to react negatively to disclosure than mothers. Drawing on an interpretivist approach, an individual in-depth interview strategy was adopted in the study as a means of gathering data from six Afrikaans-speaking White fathers, between the ages of 53 and 61 years (median: 55.5 years), residing in Gauteng, South Africa. Interviews were audio-recorded and transcribed for later coding and analysis. Through thematic network analysis, eight organizing themes emerged and were explored. For the purpose of this article only three organizing themes are discussed, namely "subliminal awareness prior to coming out," "epistemic rupture of internal systems of ideas/beliefs," and "acceptance as a complex and ongoing dialectical and reconciliatory process." The themes support the view that most parents are neither totally rejecting nor fully accepting of their gay sons. Although the fathers may have attained a level of "loving denial" in the relationships with their gay sons, most continue to struggle with the meaning and expression of same-sex sexuality. Despite these challenges, it is recognized that the fathers are adapting to changing circumstances and are trying to find ways to tolerate, accommodate, and in some ways accept their gay sons.