Avoidantly Attached Individuals Are More Exchange-Oriented and Less Communal in the Bedroom.

Sexual need fulfillment in a relationship is associated with both partners' sexual and relationship quality. In the current research, we explored what underlies two approaches to sexual need fulfillment-sexual communal norms (i.e., being motivated to meet a partner's sexual needs) and sexual exchange norms (i.e., tracking and trading sexual benefits). People high in attachment avoidance are less responsive to their partner's needs and distance themselves from intimacy. Sexuality is a domain in which partners aim to meet each other's needs, but it may also heighten avoidantly attached partners' concerns about intimacy. Across three studies (N = 711)-using cross-sectional, dyadic, daily experience, and longitudinal methods-endorsing sexual communal norms was associated with greater sexual and relationship quality, whereas endorsing sexual exchange norms was not associated with, or was linked to lower, sexual and relationship quality. People who were higher (compared to lower) in attachment avoidance were less sexually communal and more exchange-oriented, and their heightened endorsement of sexual exchange norms predicted lower relationship satisfaction over time. With two exceptions, the effects were largely consistent for men versus women. Findings from this research suggest that attachment avoidance underlies approaches to sexual need fulfillment in relationships.