An autoethnography of pregnancy and birth during Covid times: Transcending the illusio of overwork in academia?

Under the pressure of always increasing demands of publication, excessive working hours are widespread in academia. Based on an autoethnography of myself as a pregnant woman under Covid, I explore the extent of my being caught by the illusio-"being taken in and by the game" (Bourdieu & Wacquant, 1992), that prompted me to remain absorbed by the publishing game and to overwork until the very last day before giving birth to my son. I also explore how the forced deceleration induced by the maternity leave as well as the Covid confinement contributed to increased awareness and reflection thus helping me to transcend the illusio that prompted me to overwork. I also reflect to the extent of this conversion being reversible given the continued pressures of the academic context.