Zhang Wei
Department of Psychology, Institute of Education, China University of Geosciences, Wuhan, China.
Front Psychol. 2022 Apr 25;13:850278. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.850278. eCollection 2022.
On the basis of Buber's distinction between "I-It" and "I-Thou" relationships, this paper explores the role of sex in intimate relationships by analyzing research in the fields of psychoanalysis and attachment theory. In the "I-Thou" relationship mode, both parties are often able to fully participate in the current sexual behavior and respond wholeheartedly. When there is incoordination (or even conflict) in sexual activities, they can negotiate sincerely, and can even repair the relationship if it breaks down. In the "I-It" relationship mode, sex exists more as a tool to achieve a certain purpose (e.g., economic guarantee, sense of security and sense of control), and the intersubjective relatedness is abnormal: either the boundary will be blurred and others become my vassal (control strategy) or I become others' vassal (compliance strategy); or the relatedness will be cut off, leading to loneliness or false independence (avoidance strategy).
基于布伯对“我—它”与“我—你”关系的区分，本文通过分析精神分析和依恋理论领域的研究，探讨性在亲密关系中的作用。在“我—你”关系模式中，双方往往能够充分参与当下的性行为并全心回应。当性活动出现不协调（甚至冲突）时，他们能够真诚协商，关系破裂时甚至能够修复。在“我—它”关系模式中，性更多地作为实现某种目的的工具而存在（如经济保障、安全感和掌控感），主体间的关联性是不正常的：要么界限会模糊，他人成为我的附庸（控制策略），要么我成为他人的附庸（顺从策略）；要么关联性会被切断，导致孤独或虚假的独立（回避策略）。
