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“我不知道自己面对的是什么”-当依赖子女的共同父母因癌症去世时,丧亲父母适应生活的经历。

'I didn't know what was in front of me'-Bereaved parents' experience of adapting to life when a co-parent of dependent children has died with cancer.

机构信息

School of Nursing, Ulster University, Newtownabbey, UK.

South Eastern Health and Social Care Trust, Cancer Services Ulster Hospital, Belfast, UK.

出版信息

Psychooncology. 2022 Oct;31(10):1651-1659. doi: 10.1002/pon.6010. Epub 2022 Sep 5.

Abstract

OBJECTIVE

It is not clear how the bereaved parent navigates life with the children after a co-parent has died. The objective of this study is to explore bereaved parents' experience of managing life when a co-parent of dependent children has died with cancer.

METHODS

Twenty-one in-depth interviews were conducted with bereaved parents when a co-parent died with cancer. Data were analysed thematically.

RESULTS

Bereaved parents highlighted how their children was their key focus after the death of a co-parent with cancer, as they effortfully strived to be a 'perfect parent'. While some bereaved parents struggled to adapt to the role as a sole parent, others described the importance of maximising social networks to help with the practical aspects of parenting. However, most bereaved parents described intense feelings of loneliness as they navigated parenting alone. To help navigate this post-bereavement period, parents considered it important for their children to openly talk about the deceased parent. Also, meeting others who have experienced similar situations was helpful for the bereaved parent and children, providing hope for the future. Results are discussed under two themes: (1) adapting to life without the parent, and (2) a desire to keep the memory alive of the parent that died with cancer.

CONCLUSIONS

Bereaved parents should be encouraged to practice self-care when a co-parent has died from cancer so they can appropriately meet the needs of their children. Bereaved parents should be reassured that showing emotion in front of the children is helpful and could facilitate better grief experiences for the whole family.

摘要

目的

在共同抚养子女的一方因癌症去世后,丧偶父母如何在与子女一起生活,这一点并不清楚。本研究的目的是探讨共同抚养未成年子女的一方因癌症去世后,丧偶父母在管理生活方面的体验。

方法

对 21 名共同抚养子女的一方因癌症去世的丧偶父母进行了深入访谈。对数据进行了主题分析。

结果

丧偶父母强调,在共同抚养子女的一方因癌症去世后,他们的孩子是他们的主要关注点,因为他们努力成为“完美的父母”。虽然一些丧偶父母难以适应作为单亲父母的角色,但另一些父母则描述了最大限度地利用社交网络来帮助处理育儿实际问题的重要性。然而,大多数丧偶父母描述了他们在独自育儿时感到强烈的孤独感。为了帮助他们在丧亲后时期进行调整,父母们认为让孩子公开谈论已故的父母是很重要的。此外,与经历过类似情况的人会面对丧偶父母和孩子都有帮助,为未来带来希望。结果在两个主题下进行了讨论:(1)适应没有父母的生活,以及(2)渴望让因癌症去世的父母的记忆得以延续。

结论

应该鼓励丧偶父母在共同抚养子女的一方因癌症去世后进行自我关怀,以便他们能够适当满足子女的需求。应该让丧偶父母放心,在孩子面前表现出情感是有帮助的,并且可以促进整个家庭更好地经历悲伤。

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