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“我从未告诉家人我在为妈妈悲伤”:中国家庭中丧亲青少年和年轻人未表露悲伤的经历。

"I never told my family I was grieving for my mom": The not-disclosing-grief experiences of parentally bereaved adolescents and young adults in Chinese families.

机构信息

Department of Social Work, The Chinese University of Hong Kong, Hong Kong, China.

Department of Social Work, Education and Community Well-being, Northumbria University, Newcastle, England.

出版信息

Fam Process. 2024 Mar;63(1):379-391. doi: 10.1111/famp.12865. Epub 2023 Feb 6.

Abstract

In bereavement literature, the significance of open communication within the family is often highlighted. However, in recent years, scholars have noticed the complexity of grief communication in the family, especially challenges and obstacles to sharing grief. Our study seeks to contribute to the research by offering a deeper understanding of the grief-sharing experiences of parentally bereaved adolescents and young adults from China, a family-centered society with strong traditions of treating bereavement and grief as taboo. We used a narrative approach to analyze 82 interviews with 44 participants. We found that almost all the participants, regardless of their gender, parent's gender, cause of death, or time since loss, indicated that they never shared grief with other family members. Specifically, three themes emerged from the analysis. "Holding back tears during the funeral" reflects participants' struggle to protect the family (especially the surviving parent) through hiding their grief during the family crisis. "Pretending no grief at all after loss" shows how participants intentionally avoided any grief conversations within the family to not trigger others' grief. In addition, "Keeping grief secret as a family rule" indicates how Chinese families powerfully guided and influenced participants in avoiding the open expression of their grief. Our findings have drawn attention to the not-disclosing-grief experiences of bereaved adolescents and young adults in the Chinese context and the role of the family in it, therefore, calling for further support for bereaved young people, either within the family or through professional services.

摘要

在丧亲文学中,强调家庭内的开放沟通非常重要。然而,近年来,学者们注意到家庭中悲伤沟通的复杂性,尤其是在分享悲伤时所面临的挑战和障碍。我们的研究旨在通过深入了解中国丧亲青少年和年轻人的悲伤分享经历,为这一研究做出贡献。中国是一个以家庭为中心、有着强烈对待丧亲和悲伤禁忌传统的社会。我们使用叙述性方法分析了 82 名 44 名参与者的访谈。我们发现,几乎所有参与者,无论其性别、父母的性别、死亡原因或失去亲人的时间长短,都表示他们从未与其他家庭成员分享过悲伤。具体而言,从分析中得出了三个主题。“在葬礼上忍住眼泪”反映了参与者通过在家庭危机期间隐藏悲伤来保护家庭(特别是幸存的父母)的挣扎。“失去后完全不悲伤”表明参与者如何故意避免家庭内部的任何悲伤对话,以免引发他人的悲伤。此外,“将悲伤保密作为家庭规则”表明中国家庭如何有力地引导和影响参与者避免公开表达悲伤。我们的发现引起了人们对中国背景下丧亲青少年和年轻人的不透露悲伤经历以及家庭在其中的作用的关注,因此呼吁为丧亲的年轻人提供进一步的支持,无论是在家庭内部还是通过专业服务。

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