Conversion and the Real: The (Im)Possibility of Testimonial Representation.

Although the spiritual vibration of conversion can be felt (by the curious outsider) through what conversion performers say in their testimonial discourse, what transforms the convert 'on stage' into a 'new being' and what is 'the real' () in conversion performance remain unclear. An important question in this connection is, What is 'real' in a conversion representation, both with respect to the convert's interaction with the audience and to the construction of social reality? Following Lacan's tripartite register of the imaginary, the symbolic, and the real, in this essay I argue that through testimonial discourse converts construct social reality as an answer to the impossibility of 'the real' in their performative discursive practice. In the first part, I question the constructed nature of testimonial representations-as well as some academic knowledge production that has governed conversion research in the last few decades-and how these representations encourage 'outsiders' to read the narrative repertoire as a negation or mirroring 'the real' of the conversion experience. In the second part, I apply Roland Barthes' analytic reflections on photography to conversion research, especially the notions of the (the common ground of cultural meanings) and the (a personal experience that inspires private meaning). This brings me to a number of theorists (mostly never used in the field of religious conversion)-Jacques Lacan, Roland Barthes, and Slavoj Žižek-who are important to the perspective that is developed in this essay.