Behzadi K G
Boston College, Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts.
Cult Med Psychiatry. 1994 Sep;18(3):321-59. doi: 10.1007/BF01379230.
qahr (not to be on speaking terms with someone) and ashti (to make up) represent a complex culture-specific fusion of emotional dynamics, cognitive evaluations, and behavioral tendencies, which both codes negative and "distancing" emotions and initiates a set of social actions and gestures that lead to amelioration of that emotional state. The causes, experience, and expressions of qahr and ashti were studied in the context of parent-child as well as inter-adult relationships. Of the ninety-two participants, forty-six mothers and 5 fathers (aged 25 to 52) constituted the Parent Sample, and 27 females and 14 males (aged 17 to 39) the Adult Sample. Qahr is a brief temporary rupture in the relationship of parent-child that is followed by ashti. The duration of qahr increases drastically in the inter-adult experience of qahr, yet it is a temporary rupture and not a break-up. Qahr is typically expressed in the form of a non-verbal ritualized sign system that indicates a lack of desire for any further interaction between the initiator and another person. The fusion of an emotional element of "being hurt," cognitive element of "being criticized," and being punished for "wrongdoing" constitute the core meaning of qahr for the child in her/his early experience of this cultural practice, which is internalized as an emotional-cognitive-behavioral cultural script by the child and later re-enacted in his/her relationships to siblings, parents, close relatives, and friends. Interpersonally, qahr has an expressive as well as instrumental function. Qahr is an indirect expression of a cluster of negative emotions such as hate, anger, dislike, and hurt. Qahr also evokes feelings of guilt, shame, regret, compassion, and love in others so that they are motivated to "correct" the "wrong-doing," and it sends a signal to the concerned others to intervene and bring about reconciliation. Ashti is the last stage of qahr. Ashti is reconciliation and mediation plays an important role in the process of ashti.
“qahr”（与某人不说话）和“ashti”（和解）代表了一种特定文化中情感动态、认知评估和行为倾向的复杂融合，这两种编码都包含负面和“疏远”情绪，并引发一系列社会行动和姿态，从而改善这种情绪状态。在亲子关系以及成年人之间的关系背景下，研究了“qahr”和“ashti”的成因、体验和表达。在92名参与者中，46名母亲和5名父亲（年龄在25至52岁之间）构成了亲子样本，27名女性和14名男性（年龄在17至39岁之间）构成了成年人样本。“qahr”是亲子关系中的短暂临时破裂，随后是“ashti”。在成年人之间体验“qahr”时，其持续时间会大幅增加，但这只是暂时的破裂，而非关系的结束。“qahr”通常以一种非语言的仪式化符号系统形式表达，表明发起者与他人之间不再有进一步互动的意愿。在孩子对这种文化习俗的早期体验中，“受伤”的情感元素、“被批评”的认知元素以及因“做错事”而受到惩罚的融合，构成了“qahr”对孩子的核心意义，孩子将其内化为人际情感 - 认知 - 行为文化脚本，随后在与兄弟姐妹、父母、近亲及朋友的关系中再次上演。在人际关系中，“qahr”具有表达和工具性功能。“qahr”是诸如仇恨、愤怒、厌恶和伤害等一系列负面情绪的间接表达。“qahr”还会唤起他人的内疚、羞耻、懊悔、同情和爱意，从而促使他们去“纠正”“错误行为”，并向相关他人发出信号，促使他们进行干预并实现和解。“ashti”是“qahr”的最后阶段。“ashti”即和解，调解在“ashti”过程中起着重要作用。
