'We kept having this internal conflict around the language of handout and hand-up': independent living philosophy and rural disability services during the COVID-19 pandemic.

In the United States, Centers for Independent Living (CILs) staff were at the frontlines of responding to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on rural people with disabilities. Growing out of the Independent Living (IL) Movement, CILs emphasize independence, autonomy, choice, and control for disabled people and do not typically have financial or other resources to give away. To better understand the experiences of CIL staff in using the CARES Act monies and serving rural people with disabilities, researchers at the Rural Institute for Inclusive Communities in collaboration with the Association for Programs in Rural Independent Living (APRIL) used thematic coding to analyze the transcripts of eight national online peer support meetings that were facilitated by APRIL. We found CIL staff described distributing financial assistance to cover essential household needs such as rent, utilities, internet access, and various items. In turn, they also shared that they grappled with conflicts created by the influx of CARES Act funding, which put CIL staff in the position of providing what some described as 'handouts' rather than CILs' usual work of providing consumers with a 'hand-up' through training and other non-financial supports. This project highlights a unique challenge CIL staff faced as they attempted to stay true to IL philosophy while concurrently meeting the needs of rural people with disabilities in crisis during the pandemic.